Living in Thailand – Look at Little Sister
When most people think of “going expat”, visions of deserted white sand beaches and quaint village markets are conjured up. Moving to a foreign country with breathtaking scenery and warm-hearted people is an escape artist’s dream. But, don’t let the salt-spray get in your eyes … the reality of expat living requires a little more practicality. There are plenty of roadblocks to living the good life many people don’t consider.
Language skills tend to more necessary in remote locations. Even in the Philippines, a country widely perceived to be English speaking, a beach house in Palawan will mean you have to learn Visayan or Tagalog. Trust me it’s not as easy as it sounds.
And, a small town is still a small town. Anyone who’s lived in one knows there is a certain invasion of privacy. Especially if you’re a foreigner; everyone seems to know your business. Remember, you probably won’t be living like a native with native people … you’ll be part of the expat community. Being stuck on an island with a couple hundred people you may not like is not my idea of paradise. After living on the remote end of Phuket through three rainy seasons, I discovered I’m in a high risk group for “island fever”. We used to call it “Mayberry-by-the-sea”.
For sure a person could live without many modern conveniences, learn the language and go native; but what happens when you need medical care? With only a pharmacy/shampoo shop for first aid, a case of appendicitis could do you in before you get to an operating table hours away.
Of course, these are but a few of the barriers standing in your way to expat nirvana. So how do you get the expat life without losing good parts of your current life? You’d have to find a place that offers the modern life but retains the charm of the country and its people. You’d have to find a place where a significant share of the local population spoke English. You’d have to find a place where the expat community is big and diverse enough to provide a circle of friends and support structure. You’d need a city with modern medical facilities, a variety of foods and sufficient entertainment options. In short, you’d need someplace like Pattaya on the Gulf of Thailand.
Pattaya, it’s like New Orleans, Amsterdam and Las Vegas all rolled into one. Nowhere on earth can a person get a massage, have a suit made, and watch orangutan boxing on the same street corner.
What Pattaya has become most infamous for is being an international sex traveler’s playground. Due to its strategic location, Pattaya was R&R destination number one for US soldiers during The Vietnam War. Normally such ports-of-call sprout the requisite cottage industry of go-go bars, massage parlors and various a sundry adult entertainment venues. Pattaya’s smut sector must have somehow been exposed to radiation, as its red light district has taken on a super-charged life of its own.
Taking an evening stroll down the 300 meter stretch of pavement known as “Walking Street” in Pattaya Beach is like being at Disneyland on LSD. Every sensory receptor is overloaded. You are blinded by a display of neon to rival “Glitter Gulch”; summoned by the techno-jungle sound of a thousand pulsating go-go bars; and driven mad by the irresistible aroma of Thai seafood steaming and grilling right on the street.
My advice is to sit down, have a beer and witness, hands-down, the best people-watching on the planet. Gauche, raunchy and unapologetic, Walking Street in Pattaya is the “dark side” Darth Vader was so crazy about.
But, judging Pattaya by this short stretch of two-lane asphalt is a like visiting Times Square and saying you’ve seen New York City, or having your picture taken in front of the Eifel Tower and saying you’ve “done” Paris.
Dismissing the sprawling coastal metropolis that is modern Pattaya because one may find Walking Street’s form of entertainment repugnant is short-sighted. You might just overlook the easiest place to live in Southeast Asia.
Ninety minutes south of Bangkok lays a stretch of golden sand beaches outlining the eastern Gulf of Thailand known as “The Chonburi Coast”. The Pattaya-Chonburi Metro Area, now boasting way over a million residents, is Bangkok’s precocious little sister.
After living in Phuket and in Bangkok, I never thought I’d be a Pattaya guy. Now I’ve lived just south of Pattaya near Jomtien Beach for over 3 years. I find it easier to get up on the Eastern Seaboard soap box every day.
As a long time expatriate I can say with conviction that this area is the easiest place for foreigners to live in Thailand. Unlimited shopping, affordable housing, world renown hospitals, a thriving expat population, a mind-blowing array of good food, nice beaches, acres of golf courses, and of course the legendary nightlife if that’s your thing.
Most expats have migrated to the sleepier resort beaches of Jomtien and Na Jomtien ten minutes south of Pattaya. In high season you’ll catch all flavors of Europeans shedding their winter coats for shorts and sandals here. Condos, hotels and all the tourist convenience abounds, but without the bump and grind of Pattaya. On long holiday weekends Bangkokians swarm south to these beaches, escaping the concrete beehive.
Large expat communities have sprouted up on the sloping hills leading down to Jomtien beach. Housing projects designed for long stay and holiday rentals are everywhere. New roads make it easy for residents to enjoy living near the beach without getting involved in the traffic and hubbub of high tourist season.
Every imaginable cuisine is available in this area as there seems to be an inordinate amount of retired Chefs in the expat population. There’s Thai seafood on the beach; authentic French, Spanish, German, Russian, and Indian eateries; even American-style biscuits and gravy if you get a craving.
When you get tired of having all the comforts of home, you can drive south another 15 minutes and find yourself in a Thai fishing village complete with squid boats and temples. In the little beachside hamlets of Ban Amphur and Bang Saray you could go all day without seeing another foreigner, especially if you are shopping at one of the open air markets, or munching on shrimp and watching the sunset. (All the locals know; the best seafood comes right off the boat in Ban Amphur).
And, if you’re saturated with it all and simply must have a change of scenery, you can jump on a boat to dozens of surrounding islands, or drive to one of two airports.
Suvannabumi International Airport, Asia’s newest major hub, is one hour by car. Newly anointed as an “International”, Utapao Airport is just 20 minutes from South Pattaya with daily flights to Hong Kong, Singapore, Manila and dozens of other jumping off points.
When I put on my investor hat, The Chonburi Coast gives me a warm profitable feeling. It’s all about the infrastructure. New roads, new airports, deep water ports, marinas, public transportation, luxurious modern hospitals, five international schools, giant new shopping complexes, a myriad of housing solutions and one hotly promoted tourist sector combine to make the whole area swell with desirability.
Two economic crises in ten years have beat the property and tourism business up enough to keep prices relatively low. Houses and condos are a good 30% cheaper than comparable places in Phuket and Koh Samui. Villas, high-rise, low-rise, Serviced Apartments … dozens of new projects are underway and on the market offering a truly affordable seaside lifestyle. Rental guarantees and a variety of financing schemes are the newest twists added to attract new investors.
A second home in Pattaya or Jomtien is common among Bangkok business elite. And with buy-to-let investors reaping 8 to 10 percent returns, locals and expats consider the income and slow-but-sure appreciation an attractive place to park money. The dream of “the holiday beach house that also makes you money” is alive and well here.
Just because Pattaya is a renowned beach resort doesn’t mean that’s the only business in town. Several giant industrial parks near Laem Chabang Deep Water Port and the Port of Maptaphut near Rayong help provide a burgeoning middle class including Thai and foreigners working in the country.
Housing estates in East Pattaya are chock full of renters and prospective buyers, providing liquidity for property investors. It’s not just a tourist stop; it’s a real city with a complex economy.
The expat lifestyle down on the Gulf of Thailand is self-defining. You can live as “back home” as you want or go completely native if you’re into it. Last week I watched NFL playoff game live at 8 AM on a Sunday morning. Instead of the traditional drinking beer and eating chicken wings, I was having a Thai breakfast of rice porridge waiting for halftime to take a walk on the beach.
When I want to plug into the rest of the planet I go to Pattaya’s big-ass six-floor beachfront mall. When I want to disconnect from it all, I take a boat to Koh Larn and defragment. As they say here in Thailand, “up to you”.
So; before anyone decides to go native and move to some isolated village where nobody speaks English; before you find out that you too are highly susceptible to “island fever”; before you find yourself in need of real medical care miles and miles from anything but a village pharmacy … take another look at Bangkok’s little sister down on The Chonburi Coast … the easiest place to live in southeast Asia.
[ Editor’s note: I have corresponded with many fantastic people during my time with Escape Artist but Bart Walters is by far one of the most entertaining and genuine people I have had the pleasure to be in contact with. Bart writes about life in Thailand and permits me to use his work in exchange for a link back to the charity website that raises money for an orphanage in Thailand. Please take a moment to visit the site, donate if you can and help support a good cause. Please go to www.care4kids.info Thank you ]





Driving from BKK airport last Sunday after midnight it took 1:20 on a deserted road going 140km/hr. One hour is hyperbole.
I am glad you are happy to live in Pattaya. To me it looks like Torremolinos or any of the other concrete coast towns that we have all come to love to hate. Except, you have to add the broken (or non-existing) sidewalks, the thousands of beer-bellied foreign men looking for cheap sex , corrupt police, and so on and so forth.
The only good thing about Pattay, IMHO, is that is is in Thailand.
Time to put away the Singha, Bart. I lived in Pattaya from 1988 until 1999 and saw it transform from barely tolerable to downright unlivable. I agree with the points raised by the poster above but would like to add:
Horrendous traffic and the pollution that results. Beggars and ripoff artists everywhere. Quality house construction is unavailable unless one pays an exorbitant fee to a Bangkok builder. Dual-pricing for Thais and foreigners. Outrageous medical charges for much-less-than-adequate services. Ad nasuem…
Bart, very good story on the current situation in the Pattaya area. I had the very good fortune and luck to be stationed in the US Army at Camp Samae San from 72 – 74. Samae San was approx 3 km south of the sprawling Utapao air base and was by any standards the shangra-la of military posts, We ran a gas station in Pattaya Beach and it was symbolic at best and we pumped maybe 150 gallons of gas a month mainly to diplomats and other military vehicles. Across the paved road from us were boats waiting to be day chartered and the waterline was less than 75 feet from the gas stations pumps. I must say that Pattaya was fairly undeveloped then and if I remember right there was one hotel with a second floor in town. I think your assessment of Pattaya being an R & R center is just a little off. There were practically no service people there on leave or R & R because there were no hotel facilities to house any great numbers. The only service people that went there were the army and air force people and once or twice a year a navy ship would dock farther south at the deep water port and the sailors would head to Pattaya or Sattahip. Prior to being stationed in Thailand, I did a year in Vietnam and I did do an R & R to Thailand but it was Bangkok only and there were no buses or any mention of Pattaya. The Pattaya residents have told me that their area was kept immune from the masses of GI’s on leave. The Patpong district of Bangkok was the place to go back then. No question about that. Have you ever done any research about the most famous bar/massage place in Bangkok? That would be Thermae’s and is no nonexistent. Classy and well managed, it was the place to go.
I might add that one of my fellow army soldiers got bored while working at the gas station one day and while his co-worker watched the pumps, this young soldier explored the surrounding area and poked around a few vacant beach houses looking for odds and ends. Returning to the gas station, he proudly displayed his findings. He had several real nice blankets that would be used to entertain ‘guests’ in the back room of the station while bored. These blankets stayed on the cots pushed together that we all used from one time or another. A few months later we were visited by the Thai police in one of their purple Chevy Nova 4 doors and the broken English speaking officer had a flyer that he wanted posted in our window. Always willing to stay on the good side of the Thai police, we obliged. On the flyer was a drawing or photo of the great seal of the Kingdom of Thailand. When one of our girl ‘friends’ came over to chat, she saw the flyer and then began to nervously tell us what it said. “Someone has broken into the royal beach house and stolen some things” she said. “Several of those things stolen were blankets with the royal seal on the blanket……………….like the ones you have back there”. We knew right then and there we had in our sordid possessions the king or queens blankets and now we knew why they were so nice and comfortable and made from only the best Egyptian mills. There were the royal seals to confirm it. Immediately these blankets went into the Jeep and were disposed of in the patches of Nipa Palms on the road to Utapao a safe distance from Pattaya Beach. My stay in Thailand would have probably included a year or two stay in prison if we were caught with those blankets. Later we found out that that the royal family indeed had a beach bungalow within 100 yeard of our little station.
Visiting Thailand again recently, I agree with you 100% about the Chonburi Coast giving one a choice of many experiences. There is no other place like it in the world. Choose your way of life. Change it up every week or so. Keep up the very informative stories. Steve